Well , its the middle of the night and I needed an outlet to pour out to ( having a blog helps… ) .  Lets talk about defense mechanism today. In basic terms , its the mindset you get into to tackle out all the depression which may be due to a breakup or loss of some one or any other such causes ( be creative with that one… ) .

Lets keep the story short, I really loved this girl once and would fight the world just for her. ( You get the idea ? Trust me , I am not over exaggerating ) .  I chased her for quite a while , thinking she was all worth it. She finally gave in. But we soon had to part out ways because she had trouble staying faithful. Not that I wasn’t a man enough. I just didn’t keep the leash tight. She warned me about it.

Every time I break up after a serious relation, I tend to cocoon my self from the world.  May be, Have this own little world of mine where I am happy and have all I want.  I don’t really like to socialize much during this time. Same happened after her.

I thought , may be if i had enough money/car  I could have spent more time with her and make it work between us. My dads not ‘Warren Buffet’ and the pocket money he was giving me was no way enough for me. The calling , the traveling ….. I wouldn’t be able to meet it. Not like my dad would not give me money. But It just didn’t feel rite.

I knew I had to work out something to meet this gap between ‘demand’ and ‘supply’ . I was too young to get a job. Even if i did manage to get it, it would be really difficult to manage it along with the college. This left me with only one option my ‘sites’ .

I have worked hard since then and come a far way. My sites are worth over  20-30K Aed Alone and I pull in close to average monthly pay alone my self.  I am not good to pay the college fees my self yet , but trust me I soon  will be able to. I am proud of what I have done and I have come far way from where i started.

But it has all come on a cost. I don’t socialize much. All i can talk about is sites and money. Nothing happens in my life. I am a far more duller person then I used to be.  Everything comes on a cost of something.

All this work kept me busy and far from thinking about her ( except few weak moments here and there ) . It went until I met this girl. Things clicked rite away and before I knew we started dating.

She didn’t complain . She said I was perfect for her ( Hard to believe ) . She studies else where and comes down every now and then. But she did mention, I was nothing like she thought her BF to be like. She was a fun loving person and I was a laid back kinda guy who thinks he does not belong to parties.

Its kinda weird without her. We used to speak often initially but now its all coming down. She calls once a while and some days she doesn’t. She’s got her excuses. It kinda hurts.  But its ‘ok’ . The funny part is , some random guy shows up on her facebook and she gets active with him all of a sudden and at my end there is no activity.

Disclaimer: I wasn’t stalking , it just showed up on my dashboard.

The funny-er thing ( remember I spoke of the funny thing previously ) is all those wall post hurt nothing less than bullet. I know its bad but well the issue is , its getting worse.

The Ultra-Real Point of concern is after the first female , I never managed to get out of my cocoon. My world includes My folks , my pals , my girl and my sites topped with lot of food 🙂 . ( Yerp, I have managed to put a few pounds on ) . Seems like the defense mechanism has slowed the pace of my life to bare minimum to the point that my girl might be thinking i am a bore.

Its kinda fucked up state of mind. I don’t know whats going on . I might be losing grip over her but I am gonna get the leash a little tighter and see how it goes.

For now, Peace.

I am just back from India and i am still kinda getting used to how stuffs work here.  One thing I really miss of india is their news paper. There is just so many interesting things to read. There is just so much going on.

When I see the news paper here. They are pure BULLSHIT.  Firstly, Half the news paper is advertisements.  And from the half that is left only quarter of the news is actually from U.A.E ( to be honest more like 10 % of the 50% left out ) and from that quarter half the shit usually has to do with how the sheik is trying to save is national identity and get young locals to work or how good the government department really are which leaves you with 50 % of 25 % of 50 % which is 6.25 % is only actually some news . ( Damn , i am good with maths…. )

Censorship laws stop the truth from coming out. There has to be freedom of press , every one should know what really is happening.  None of the newspapers have the balls too.  I wish someday , they’d provide us just enough space to breath. Some day.

Well …. I bet it wasn’t really that hard , wasn’t it ? I am finally back from Mumbai where i dodged through heavy traffic , Funneled my way in the rain with a big umbrella in my hand , met few amazing people and yes , Assassinated a ton of mosquitoes.

About the mosquitoes thingy, It really was a big deal. Over 40 thousand people were suffering from malaria in mumbai and I was getting over 20 bites a day from the first day I landed. So the probability of me catching malaria or other mosquito transferred disease was pretty high. There was no way I wanted to get malaria on vacation. So i had to be extra careful and fussy about the whole thing. ( though my folks back in india though I was stupid and a little too over exaggerating the mosquitoes issue. )  But that was not the case and I think they’ll never understand…..

But now that I am back , its ramdan and you cant eat out side 🙁  which is kinda shitty. But well atleast it is justified unlike the recent minimum tariff rise by sharjah taxi to 10 AED. Loot the bloody expatriates , you do it pretty well 😐 !

I ve got my college starting after eid , so need to get a lot of my website work done. I hope I’ll be able to finish off all what I started. This month was pretty good revenue wise and should be working hard to make more next month.

I’ll soon get some spicy stories and update this blog 🙂

After a lot of hassles and almost getting offloaded of the plane , I arrived at the Mumbai Airport and I soon realized I was in a completely different world. Things didn’t work here , Like they worked in Dubai and I need a whole lot of different skills to get through this geography.

I am visiting Mumbai after 2 years ( Last time I visited Mumbai , I started this site ). I did notice a few differences, they did make some progress but the issue was the rate was rather too slow. I am pretty much sure, every one has their own share of the moola before a project actually completes. India would be a whole different Place if people and officials were not all that corrupt.

People in india , for some apparent reason tend to fall sick far too often. There is always a rush at the doctor and the doctor charges a nice hefty fee. No matter if its recession or the stock market is down  , A doctor always makes it to the bank.

Another thing which I haven’t got used to here is the fact that there are just far too people everywhere. Foot paths tend to be smaller , buses are always jam packed , trains are a havoc during rush hours. Another funny thing is , there is always a line of people waiting out side a restaurant , no matter if its week day or a weekend. It seems people have made a lot recently.

Mosquito s have bitten the fuck out of me in these days. I am Ultra-Obsessive about killing a mosquito once I spot it.  Yerp, people do call me a maniac but trust me its not about the bite but the itch after the bite that has driven me to the edge. Of all the anti-mosquito measures I have tried ,  ‘ Good Knight ‘ , ‘ All Out ‘ bla bla bla , they dont work . Its just the advertisement. The coils have far too many side effects to be used.  Only the cream ‘ Odomos’ have been moderately successful for me so far.  I have more than 20 mosquito bites on each of my hands and legs . ( that makes it for than 80 bites btw… XD )

I would love to live in this place , if i had my own house and lived in some high rise building with swimming pool . Life is good here if you have lot of money.

For now tata

Ok well I completed my site free psp games site which i bought for 150$ . It took close 4-5 man hours to finish the whole thing up. I think it should start making some money now. ( It better do….. )

I also started work on my company site its going to be called ‘Soul Web Works‘ and wrote a blog post. I’ll be working more on it this summer and create a brand out of it. I want to be a big player in the internet marketing industry in dubai. Hopefully, I will.

I have to work on a friends site in the night , I ll keep you updated on how it goes. 🙂